Friday, September 02, 2005

A PAX report.


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- You’re in Bellevue, Washington.

- You’re inside a huge building, teeming with the lives of thousands of different people. People that you should know, that you should welcome with open arms as if they were your very own family. As they should of you. But they don’t. And neither do you. Something is missing.

- You drink a fuck-ton of Bawls. You like the feeling of Bawls on your tongue.
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- You’re wandering about, aimlessly (but of course), until your ever watchful gaze catches a glimpse of something that few your age will ever have a chance to experience. Nor is it something the can remember. But you know, and you approach carefully, afraid to damage the relic that is the “Bezerk” arcade cabinet. You play. You play badly. But you’re happy.

- You’re inside that same huge building. Inside one giant room. And inside that room, all are united with the divine feeling that comes, whenever one watches a shitty movie. Fred Savage is on the screen, and an acre of people cheer. For he has introduced you to the splendor that is Super Mario Brothers 3. And for some reason, that goddamn Wizard kid knows where the warp whistle is.

- You sit, silently sweating in a darkened room. In the room is a village, in the village are houses, and in the houses are villagers. But something is inside the villagers as well. Something terrifying.

- You’re in Seattle, Washington. You’ve been walking to a place that you don’t know how to find. Simply because how you get there is the worthier part. You stop. You climb. Over a gate and into a place that looks as if it has been left over from some forgotten age. A childish mural scrawled before the stoop of some forgotten storefront, wedged into a padlocked alley off a major street. You like it.
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- You’re standing in front of a display, depicting a sequel to a sequel to a game that you really enjoyed. You start playing, and your best friend takes up the task of playing against you. As the two of you are locked in the battle that wages up on the immortal screen, a crowd drifts into place around the pair of you. Silently at first. So much so that you don’t even notice their presence. Until they begin to cheer. They cheer at your friends advances and they cheer at yours. A single glistening moment erupts when your friend becomes the winner. The crowd vanishes, the shinobi lifestyle apparently not foreign to them.

- You’re stopped at a gas station, asking directions. For some reason, they’re selling fried chicken. For some alternate reason, you buy some.
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- You’re walking down the streets, admiring the blackness of the sky. A patch of nerds wanders by, engaged in a fierce debate over the “Hot Coffee” controversy. Your friend brings his argument into the conversation, and the argument is quickly won by the swift sword of logic.

- You laugh.

- You drink more Bawls.
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- You remember. You remember a field, where the sun rose, and the sun set. A field that your footsteps softly tread across dozens of times before, watching and waiting and fighting and living and whistling out a tune.

- You see this field again. But things are different in the land of Hyrule. Streaks of rain now tear their way through the air, the thunderous crash decimating the peace that once graced this place during the day. But you are not afraid. You have a friend with you, that ever-so-noble steed. The horse that came galloping towards you from the graphical mist, simply because your ocarina sang Epona’s Song. You ride on. And then you hear more thundering hooves, and suddenly see the beasts riding the backs of giant wild boars. You feel the hooves shake the ground. You battle. You win. You chase the last.

- You’re sitting atop Epona, the earth of Hyrule field forgotten for the stone of a bridge that reaches across a gaping chasm. The other rider sits at the opposite end, his boar ready to charge. You charge first. Your sword strikes. You win. You try hard not to cry.

- You’re a geek, by the way.

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